As a moviegoer for
more than 70 years, I’ve seen some great movies, some not so great, some really
bad ones, some trying but failing to be deep and meaningful, some reveling in
their shallowness. I was born the year The Wizard of Oz and Gone with the Wind
were released. My mother started taking me to the movies shortly after that. I
saw some movies that were definitely not PG rated. I can still remember being
afraid of The Thing and delighting in An American in Paris.
Many times I disagree
with the critics. I don’t call them and tell him what I think of their reviews,
so now that there is an internet for anyone to babble on, I add my voice. I’m
sure there are many of you who will disagree with my assessments. Some of you
will agree. I hope to hear from all of
you.
Aarrrggh! Avast, me maties. Shiver me timbers. Where do they
get this gibberish? Did any real pirate really say things like that? Yes, it’s
pirate movies this month. Swash your buckle or buckle your swash. Suspend your
belief. Enjoy, for Hollywood never let the truth get in the way of a good
pirate movie. And, for all the pirate movies made, very few are in the “A”
category. In your heart you know that pirates were never so appealing, so clean
cut, so polite or so fair in their dealings. You can like these pirates—not so their
real-life counterparts. You know they were low-life, scurvy, double-dealing
cut-throats. Notice how many pirates end
up being governors of Jamaica.
Treasure Island (1934,
1950, 1972, 1990, 2012): Robert Louis Stevenson’s tale is the classic pirate
film. My favorite is the 1950 version with Sir Robert Newton as Long John
Silver. This was Disney’s first live-action movie. Bobby Driscoll played the
boy.
Captain Blood
(1935): Errol Flynn plays Dr. Blood who is enslaved by Basil Rathbone on his
plantation. He escapes, joins a pirate gang, rescues the girl, Olivia de Havilland,
and somehow becomes the governor of Jamaica.
The Buccaneer
(1938, 1958): The 1938 version by Cecil B. De Mille stars Frederic March. The
1958 version stars Yul Brynner as Jean Lafitte, the pirate who helped General
Andrew Jackson fight the British at New Orleans. As a result Lafitte earned a
pardon for his piratical ways. Claire Bloom and the great Charles Boyer
co-star.
Reap the Wild Wind
(1942): You knew John Wayne would show up sometime. Here he is fighting pirates
in Key West in the 1840s. Paulette Goddard and Ray Milland support the Duke.
This film did earn an Oscar for Best Effects (Wayne fighting a giant squid
before Kirk Douglas fought his in 20,000
Leagues Under the Sea; maybe it was
the same one).
The Black Swan
(1942): The best part of this film is watching Tyrone Power. Household name
Laird Cregar plays pirate Henry Morgan. Power plays his lieutenant and Maureen
O’Hara the girl. Morgan becomes the governor of Jamaica and vows to get rid of
the pirates. This film is rather fun to watch.
Abbott and Costello
Meet Captain Kidd (1952): And now for something completely different. Put
Abbott and Costello in a movie, then add Capt. Kidd and you’re in for a really
delightful ride. Through a switched letter, the duo gets a hold of a treasure
map. Shiver me timbers, Capt. Kidd kidnaps them and insists they find the
treasure.
Against All Flags
(1952): Here’s Errol Flynn as a British officer who infiltrates a pirate gang
in Madagascar. He becomes enamored of Maureen O’Hara who’s a pirate. What’s a
bloke to do?
Crimson Pirate
(1952): Here is a romp with Burt Lancaster as the pirate gang leader. He and
his band of merry pirates pretend to have scurvy. Somehow this attracts royal
ships to help, and bob’s-your-uncle, they get pillaged. Will they never learn?
Golden Hawk
(1952): The great non-actor Stirling Hayden plays a French privateer. [A pirate
works for himself; a privateer works for a country.] He takes Rhonda Fleming
from a Spanish ship. She wants him dead, but, lo and behold, he turns out to be
the governor’s son. Go figure.
High Wind in Jamaica
(1965): Anthony Quinn and James Coburn star in this movie about pirates hijacking
a ship full of children on their way to England to be brought up properly—full
of swashbuckling fun.
Pirates of Penzance
(1983): Based on Gilbert and Sullivan’s operetta, this film is absolutely
delightful. Kevin Kline as the pirate displays his physical sense of humor.
Linda Ronstadt is the demure young maiden. Angela Lansbury is the mysterious
lady with a secret. Rex Smith is the male ingénue. Great music and good fun.
Pirates of the
Caribbean (2003, 2006, 20011): These films have very good music and little
else. They are silly to the point of embarrassment. Errol Flynn would be
appalled.
Cutthroat Island
(1995): Statuesque Geena Davis takes over her father’s pirate ship in the
1600s. Matthew Modine co-stars. This movie misses the mark on several levels.
Hook (1991):
Here’s another miss. Great cast includes Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Bob
Hoskins and Maggie Smith. Another Spielberg disaster.
The Black Pirate (1926):
Douglas Fairbanks, the king of the heroic pirates, stars in this silent film.
The Light at the Edge
of the World (1971): Kirk Douglas and Yul Brynner star as pirates who
capture a lighthouse in Argentina. The plan, dastardly it is too, is to lure
ships to ground and then pillage.
Master and Commander
(2003): This is not your typical pirate movie. The hero, Russell Crowe, is the
master and commander who must fight a renegade French frigate from Napoleon’s
navy. This film is sweeping in scope, beautifully photographed, and well-acted.
Above average.
Scalawag (1973):
Kirk Douglas again in a Robert L. Stevenson tale of a peg-legged pirate and his
pixilated parrot who knows where the treasure is, but isn’t telling.
The Sea Hawk
(1940): To me, this is the classic pirate movie. Errol Flynn plays a British
privateer hired by Queen Elizabeth I to harass the Spanish fleet and the New
World colonies. Brenda Marshall plays a Spanish lady Flynn falls for. He is
captured by the Spanish, but escapes to warn England before all is lost. Claude
Rains and Gilbert Roland co-star. If you only see one pirate movie, this is the
one to see.
